I just got the best prank call ever. It was possibly the most childish thing ever and I’m sitting here on the couch giggling at it still. Here is a transcript [with my commentary included]:
Ring [Private Caller]
Caller: [An 8 year old with what I realize now was the worst ever put on southern accent, on top of his normal sourthenr accent] Can I speak to Vern?
Me: I think you have the wrong number.
Caller: I don’t think so!! [At this point I should have realized that it was a kid fucking with me, but at the same time I was wondering if it was some half-retarded kid who was trying, for the first time in his life, to call one of his friends or relatives without his mother operating the phone and then holding it to his ear].
Me: Well who are you trying to reach?
Caller: [Silence that comes with thinking] Um, Michelle or Patrick or someone named like that. That’s their last name. [Now you’d think I’d realize that this little fat kid in the stained shirt (which is how I’m imagining him at this point) is yanking my chain because he doesn’t realize who he’s fucking calling, but no I’m trying to help him out, which is evident based on my next question]
Me: Well what number are you calling?
Me: [Still not catching on] Well none of those people are here and you’ve got the wrong number there.
Caller: You sound gay… click.
The second I heard that I realized that two or more eight year old boys were in their grandmother’s house and laughing until they peed their pants. I half thought about calling them back via *69, but then realized why scare them? I thought it was a stroke of genius, and who am I to deny boys from turning into adult smart-asses. I’m sure that in a different universe we would have called each other… friend. Kind of like Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr. in that movie Enemy Mine.
Bravo snot-nose, bravo