I could start this by saying you suck, but that would not adequately illustrate the depths of my feelings toward you. The Yankees signed you to bridge the gap from the starters to Rivera in a way that Tom Gordon did in the games that didn’t count. They signed you despite your meltdown in Atlanta. At first I thought you were merely overrated. A pitcher with great stuff that really couldn’t place pitches to get anyone out. Now I know I was wrong.
Sir you are a waste of space in our bullpen. At this point I’d rather the Yankees signed 73 year old John Franco to set up Rivera. I watched you last night come into a tie game and my heart sank. Sure, Pettite didn’t have the best stuff, but he did leave you with a 5-5 tie against the Twins. All you needed to do was hold the tie. Instead, you give up three (3) hits and a walk in one inning, blow the lead in the bottom of the eighth and hand the Twins the game. Bravo sir, bravo.
To make matters worse, you’re the answer. Joe Girardi and the coaching staff have decided to show some confidence in you. They must see something I don’t because I see plenty of garbage runs in close games. Runs that make a one run gap a three run hole. Runs that don’t allow the Yankees to play small ball but get the hitters thinking they need to hit homeruns. And now Joba is being put in the starting rotation. I know the kid is great, but he’s not going to pitch complete games every outing. He’s going to hand the ball off to you meaning you’ll have a change to blow more and more shots to win close ball games.
I have a simple request sir: demand a trade. The New York fans don’t like you as a pitcher, you should let the pressure build and demand a trade. Take LaTroy Hawkins with you. We need some pitchers with heart, not overpaid veterans that don’t show up everynight.
The Ghost of John Wetteland
p.s. Please tell Joe Girardi that we need Joba back to shore up the bullpen and someday take over for Mo Rivera.