Where’s My Bonus?

So, just a brief post on the bonus fiasco.  While I wish I could get a bonus for being the worst employee or executive ever, I’m worried about the knee-jerk reaction we’re having.  These bonuses, for better or worse, are contractual.  That means they are subject to the law.  Instead of reacting, shouldn’t Congress have told these companies that in order to pay out bailout money, they would need to change their bonus structure or at least renegotiate it?

At the end of the day, I worry that all of this hand wringing and suggestions of suicide (one Congressman told execs to consider suicide… CLASSY) will lead to the government or other parties ripping up binding agreements or laws just because they’re pissed off.  If I were to follow that logic, there should be a lot I should get to do because I get pissed off a lot, including:

  • Not pay restaurant bills because the waitress was too slow
  • Pay less for products at department stores because I think they’re ripping me off
  • Round up slow, fat people at the mall and send them to fat camps
  • Outlaw the Boston Red Sox, Washington Redskins, and New York Islanders
  • Throw eggs at Matt Lauer while he is tied naked to a post in a public square
  • Prank call the Octomom constantly when I know the Octo-kids have just dozed off

See, allowing controlled chaos because you’re pissed might not always work out too well.

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3 responses to “Where’s My Bonus?

  1. Well said. However, once I got the image of a naked Matt Lauer covered in eggs, I didn’t know whether to laugh or throw up. Thanks for the imagery. 🙂

  2. Seems like there was a provision against paying bonuses in the stimulus bill that was removed by Chris Dodd. Came out in the news today.

  3. Removed by Chris Dodd? Wasn’t he just on TV complaining about it? See, I’m getting angry and want to go find the Today show set…